probably the first and last photo of my baby bump #2. 

13 days, maximum, to see baby!

my little girl is back!

today is one weekend morning which i did not mind waking up to little feet stepping on my face. =)

but she refuse to say yes when i asked her if she miss me!
T_______________T
she keep saying no no no!
fine, maybe she really dont miss me. =(

five more days to go...

so i am still here... bleah... =(

maybe by saying that i will be repeating my days till minibean arrives, i have jinxed myself and thats why she is still inside..... -_-"

okie... admittedly i cut some slacks on my exercise regime..

on wednesday i ate macs breakfast in the morning and the only walk i had was to the mall with mummy...

on friday i totally just stayed at home till it was time to go to the dr in the evening..

but on thursday, though i went out only at 9am and the sun was shinning bright.... i walked for 30mins haphazardly around the neighbourhood, in shaded area only, and climbed 8 storeys of stairs..

so not too bad right.... but that seem like not to have any effect on minibean who is still comfortably kicking inside....

***

i am uber upset after the dr check up yesterday.. her head is not engaged yet.. sigh... this is really taking forever and she is not getting any smaller... i can see that the chances of a c-sec is getting higher with each passing hour........ =(

we asked dr lee what is possibly causing her head not to be engage. one of the reason he gave was probably her head is too big to fit into my pelvis area....... T.T

even dr lee could see i was pretty upset and he arranged for an earlier check up for me on next tuesday.. hopefully by then, there will be some good news... please?

nine days to go...

down to the single digit already... sigh... still nothing... =(

so i went for morning walk as i said i would. 

i brisk walk my usual running track instead of walking to the market. 

walked 1.5 rounds so thats about slightly more than 2 km but it took me 40mins+? 

*shake head. usually it would only take about 10mins to run one round. 

but i am still proud that i took the effort to wake up at 730 to go for walks... =)

anyway, i guess will be repeating my day till minibean arrives..

ten days to go...

sunday passed quietly except that i probably heard the word "big" like ten thousand times.. 

=(

guess that my belly is REALLY REALLY BIG! 

btw.. i am quite sensitive to that word now.. so if you please. thank you.. 

***

this sums up my first day of leave. 

i went for a morning walk as i promised the hubs.. =)

ate the bread daddy made. 

and what happen after lunch? 

i plop myself in front of the laptop and blogged and played game and fell asleep.. lol

so its been really quiet.. no contraction no nothing... =(

really praying hard for something.. any hint of labour before friday would be great...

***

before i forget.. some pregnancy perks i dont want to forget.. =)

• good skin! something not to be taken granted of because it will still have outbreaks and stuff... though i have dry & peeling skin at the side of the nose, kind of allergy to my laneige sleeping mask but i think overall is quite easy to manage as long i keep myself hydrated and have enough sleep. =)

• nails that seems unbreakable! 

i know i usually have good nails even pre-pregnancy.. but pregnancy nails are even better! they grow at an express rate and no chips at all! 

twelve days to go...

we went for our weekly gynae's check yesterday and minibean is still not coming out soon!
=(
but she is getting so big! 3.6kg.. my weigh remained at 71 though.. phew..

can someone tell me how to make her come out soon? i really want a natural birth but the chances gets slimmer as she gets bigger..

should i go for induced?

***

was reading a lot of birth stories lately and was reminded by one of the mummies that everything is in God's hands - it is in his perfect timing and plan to decide which day minibean would come out.

but this is really really getting so hard! =(

thirteen days to go..

today is the first day of november and last day of work (for the next 14 weeks at least)! FINALLY!!! =)
took a cab to work just to spoil myself minibean. hehehe..

dont mornings just looks great when you dont have to rush with the crazy crowd? 

no stress or going mental trying to "protect" the bump from getting hit/squashed?

just sit at the back and relax.. ahhh...

what a perfect friday.

=)


***

my friday just got sweeter... =)

cupcake treat from the boss - his 2nd baby full month. =)

fourteen days to go..

its the last day of OCTOBER!
i am getting more and more unsettled each day. =(

everyday this week, i wake up asking myself if this is the day? whats that pain here? whats is that stretch i feel there? will i be able to pull through the day? though, i am so done with this pregnancy and cant wait to evict this little tenant asap, but the funny thing is, i am afraid if "it" would happen this week.. have i packed everything i need in my hospital bag? what if my water bag broke while i am on my way to work or at work? what am i going to do? i havent do my hand-over yet!

was having this mense cramp-like pain the whole of yesterday. =(
not sure if it is linked to labour symptoms but other than that, NOTHING IS HAPPENING!
T__________T

three weeks and four days to go....

with less than a month to go...

...more and more people are asking if i am excited. yes, i am excited about the time after the birthing part. lol..

till now, i am still not looking forward to the birthing part at all. wishing and praying very hard that somehow i can miraculously skip that part and to after birth.. anyway to get myself more prepare about what to expect, i have been reading about birthing stories.. after the first day of reading, i decided not to give birth anymore.. all the horror stories of the things that may go wrong! that really scares me..

this birth story is the worst - nella cordelia birth story. its my worst fear of what might happen, though the amniocentesis test came back ok.. but then again, recently a friend gave birth to a baby with extra fluid in the ventricles also and after much test, the baby has hearing problems (permanently or not, still not sure). so i guess i can never ease my mind till i see her. its not about the baby not being "perfect", its about my capability to help her live her life to the fullest which i am afraid i cannot fulfil.

anyway back to the birth stories. but it is also that birth story which kept me reading more - nella's story did not end at her birth. she continued to write and help raise awareness about the amazing abilities of individuals with Down syndrome (read more here) . she reminded me that birth is just the beginning, not the end. go read her blog here! its truly inspiring :)

and so i read more stories but am still scare..

***

with less than a month to go...

... we finally have bought all the baby necessity! now left with the washing and setting up and storage part..

... mummy has started to wash and clean minibean's hand-me-downs.. =) her clothes are so small and cute! she is really lucky to have so many hand-me-downs and some of them are even brand new! thank you everyone!

... the hubs has also fix up the bassinette cot for minibean.. its the travel kind cus there arent much space left in the house.. hopefully she will be comfortable in there. cant wait to put her own elephant, monkey and rabbit inside.

***

with less than a month to go...

we have finally narrow down the last character of her chinese name to four - xuan, ling, min & wei.. =)
so now we wait till she pops out and see what she look like and decides! sounds easy right! =P

and for her english name, we have picked out a few and the ones we like better are...

- abigail (my father's joy), i like the meaning of the name. the look on the hubs face every time he sees her on the ultrascan makes me 90% that this is the name for her.. the 10% is every time i think of the name, i think of the abigail. but looking on the bright side, there is a abigail sin who is a prodigy pianist! WOW!

danielle (God is my judge) - i really like this name too. my only concern is the 'elle' which makes its a little mouthful.. =S

hannah (grace of God)

roxanne (dawn) / rosanne (rose + full of grace) - i like the first and the hubs likes the spelling of the latter though the meaning of the names are different.

i have also been toying if the idea of naming her patience. i always thought i have a reasonable amount of patience but she really stretch that.

patience.. 

... to wait till the time of the month and the month after and month after... while sitting on the bowl for the line to appear. to wait for the first appointment. to see her (a dot) on the screen finally. to finally hear her heartbeat. for the first trimester to be over and my morning sickness to go away. for my bump to show. while waiting for my turn to see the dr at kkh which waits are ridiculously long. while waiting for the test results to come back. for the second trimester to be over so that we will be nearer to the 40 weeks. to know if the extra fluid in her brain would have any physical effect on her (dr says at this moment there is nothing they can do to see if she is really fine. i find this more hard to face than a baby with no name).. 

and now, patience for the 25 days to past which are passing at such a miserable slow rate... -_-"


***

with less than a month to go...

we went for the 36th week scan last friday and she is 3.1 kg already! o.O

okie.. we are going third base trimester... =P

cant believe it that i am left with only about 11-12 weeks! its really fast and i am having mixed feelings now if i want her more out or in.. =X

i want to see my baby and stop carrying the weight around my belly. its giving me bad backaches i ever had and my rib cage also hurts like mad that it feels like its going to break. nausea is also back in town. dr says its due to my stomach got not enough space as minibean is growing bigger so that would happen if i ate too much.. so how much is too much now? 3/4 of my 2-slice peanut butter and jam bread. now i cant even have enough of what i like.. sigh.


i miss wearing heels and pretty clothes.. i really love heels.. at the beginning of pregnancy, i will still go charles and keith just take a look around and have the cheap thrill of looking at people trying on nice heels while i try on flats. i have nothing against flats, but shoes makes a lady or aunty. flats are comfy but heels gives you power. no matter how nice flats are, they dont give you the power look and not every heels can give you the "omph" look. that i know.

like i already say, i love heels... so when i cant wear them but still get to look isnt that bad right? then i started to notice (more than ever) heels the ladies are wearing while they sashay pass me and i realised how aunty i looked beside them.. =( usually when i wear slightly casual clothes, i will pair it will heels and it will look less aunty. but my growing belly had made me wear casual clothes more frequently = i looking aunty more frequently.

its not just me okie.. cus one day while i was getting ready to go out, the hubs casually said to me, darlin, luckily you met me before you got pregnant. T__________T

see!! even the hubs noticed! how to not feel frumpy and aunty and old! i have not step in charles & keith for weeks now - looking at pretty heels but cant buy them makes me depressed. seeing how other people looked less aunty than me on those towering heights just makes me feel worst.

pregnancy really mess with my self esteem. i am always feeling ugly - patchy skin, dull hair, fat butts, etc... though i cant wait to have my bump (in my first trimester), i am always worried people might think that i am just fat. when i got my bump + 11kg (now), i am scare that i will always weigh this heavy. before i got pregnant, i actually did thought before how i would like to dress up when i am pregnant but reality sux.


i cant stand the sound of baby crying so with her inside i cant hear it.. lalala! i think this is caused by jelly. when she was still a baby, i had to babysit her while mummy is not around at night. she seems to know it and would sleep shorter period than usual. the problem was not she not sleeping, it was her wailing loudly non-stop for hours. nothing i did would pacify her. =( she would stop only when mummy comes back, scold her and she would fall back sleep in minutes! i so want to strangle her. -_-"  minibean, minibean, you better be good and not cry like your aunt.. you can tell me what you want and i will decide if you can have it okie? of course i decide lah! how can i let my baby decide if she wants to wear pink or yellow? to drink milk or not? how can a baby knows whats good for them? dont be funny.


the thought of giving birth and the pain really scares me.. i am really scare. period.


i really like the feeling of her moving inside me and this is probably the best thing i like being pregnant... its also one of the reason i have not been blogging much. i spent most of my free time lying down on my bed, talking, stroking my belly and feeling her move around. =) she is getting more responsive by the day too! sometimes i pat my tummy and she kicks back where i pat. =) maybe she trying to tell me not to disturb her or go away.. lol..


but overall, i think i still cant wait to cuddle her. so i want her to be out! =)