cousin eve did this up recently and the only reason i am posting this here is the coincidence that ah ma was carrying me back in 1985 and later carrying rosanne in 2014 =)

was reading an article on dailymail.com that i found interesting. though it may not be saying that attractive people do not cheat, it just that they have less motivation to do so.

... just because good looks afford you more opportunities to cheat, it doesn’t mean that you’ll take them. If anything, I think the opposite is true. When you are attractive, and you can have pretty much anyone you want, there’s less motivation to do so.

In my experience, it’s the insecure men, the ones who aren’t confident in themselves or their looks, who need to chat up women in order to prove their own self-worth. That’s why so many balding, paunchy men have mid-life crises and go after younger women.

its so true right! and yup, i have been reading so much dailymail that i have decided to create a tag for it.. hahaha..



source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2611580/The-sheer-hell-living-man-attractive-you.html

for quite awhile now, the hubs and i are worried that the little girl's pillow is too small for her. every night we put her in her bed with the pillow below her head. but each morning we would find her pillow tossed nowhere near her head. lol.

at the last baby fair, we even contemplated buying her a bigger pillow. but we were told that the size she had is the right one for her. so we conclude that maybe our baby just dont really like pillow.

however, just last night, we were proven wrong.

the hubs was sleeping already and i was preparing to go to bed too. the little girl was in between our pillows. she like sleeping there and since it was late already, we just let her continue to sleep with us.

suddenly she started to stir from her sleep and did a flip onto my pillow. she adjusted herself to a comfortable position and was soundly asleep again. -_-"

the comfortable spot was right in the middle of my pillow! 

so we guess, does like pillow! hahaha.

my mother has been telling me that my little girl has been sleeping in my bed once too often.. she nags at me about it and says that the little girl will make a habit out of it and will not sleep in her own bed next time..

but the truth is, i can't sleep without her beside me :(

i am used to have her sleeping beside me. her little snores and occasionals dream talks. her smell, mixed of milk and soap. her random waving of arms. small hands landing on my face or shoulders while i sleep. letting her tiny fingers wrap around my index while she sleeps. she being the last thing i see when i go to sleep and her smile when i wake up in the morning. 

she is my Linus' blanket and her breathing sound is my white noise. i feel safe and secured with her right beside me though her crib is just inches away from my bed.

without her beside me at night, i stay awake, waiting for a cry, few tosses or noise of discomfort so that i will have a reason to let her sleep beside me. 

there was once i really could not sleep and so i went to check on her. she had a smile on her face and i was overwhelmed with the fact how fast she was growing. i could not resist giving her a cuddle but could neither resist not putting her back. i fell asleep shortly. she has become my sleeping pill.

she is now turning and tossing in her bed.. can i go pick her up? someone say ok? please??

the hubs having been asking me lately when should we have a second child. he wants a companion for the little girl as he feels that she seems lonely with no one around her age to play with her.

but i am not ready to give my time for the little girl's to someone else. yet. well, technically its not someone else also.. but yah, you know what i mean right.. and also with my such temper, with another little person around, i may just lose it once too often and how can i bear the little girl to go through such treatment and how will she understand what is going on?

do not be mistaken, i am not saying i will not punish/scold her when she has done wrong. what i am saying is, will i be level-headed enough to handle her when she is being difficult or be quick to anger and lose control of the situation. at such times, will i still remember why i named her 琳 and hold back mean words? will i be understanding that she is just a child and be patient with her? from the last five months i spent with her, i have a feeling that it would be difficult and the hubs is really the more patient one.

anyway, saw this article online and maybe if i can have some way/help to "avoid" the unwanted shouting matches, maybe, and just maybe, i will be more ready to have another child. =)


***


Why can't I stop shouting at my little boy? This confession by the mother of a three-year-old may shock - but it will also tweak many consciences by DEBBI MARCO

My three-year-old son Sam sits on the stairs as I kneel in front of him putting on his shoes. 'I love you,' he says, squeezing me tightly. 'I love you, too,' I reply, returning his hug. Then he looks at me, his greeny-blue eyes softening. 'Why do you shout at me?' he asks.

I feel my heart crumble. My mouth opens as I search for some words and then I shut it again.

I know I shout at him too much and recently things have got worse than ever: my fuse seems to have gone from short to non-existent.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out why. Eight months ago, our daughter, Matilda, was born and it coincided perfectly with Sam's terrible twos. And, love him though I do, my angel-faced little Sam really could try the patience of a saint. And I'm the first to admit that I am the very opposite of saintliness when it comes to keeping my cool.

Couple that with the fact that Sam has an uncanny knack of being able to press my buttons like no one else and you have a recipe for disaster.

It doesn't help that I'm exhausted from the lack of sleep caused by the new baby and being torn between two children, but it really doesn't excuse the manner in which I shout and scream at him on occasions.

What should be a lovely, bonding bathtime often escalates into a full-blown shout-a-thon, usually starting with Sam refusing to take a bath.

'I want a shower,' he'll demand stubbornly, while I'll snap back that I can't leave Matilda in the bath unsupervised (our shower is in a different room) and tell him in no uncertain terms that he has to get in the bath.

That way, not only will I be able to watch both children closely, I'll also be able to wrestle my wriggly baby into her sleepsuit and give her some milk while he enjoys some extra bathtime alone playing with bubbles and rubber ducks.

I also know that if I give him a shower, Matilda will just crawl into the shower room and get soaking wet, too. But Sam is never exactly keen to help me out at the end of a long and exhausting day.

'I want a SHOWER!' he will scream, throwing himself to the floor in a full-on tantrum. His face will turn red and he’ll bang his feet over and over again on the floor. I know I should ignore him or put him on the time-out step, but I don't. I see red.

'Stop it now!' I will thunder. 'You can't have a shower. You'll have a bath! Now get over there!'

With that, I'll shove him into the corner of the room while he screams and wails. I will continue to get his sister dressed, but my heart will be pounding and I'll still be shouting: 'I've had enough of this and enough of you!'

It's probably indicative of how much I shout that Matilda doesn't even flinch if I scream over her head. Somewhere inside, I know my poor son just wants a shower and is wailing at the apparent injustice of it, but I can't access that part of myself.

I'm lost inside the red mist that has taken control. Even though I don't want to be doing it, I continue the battle.

'Right!' I will then scream irrationally. 'You can have a shower!' 

I'll plonk Matilda in her cot and she'll promptly start screaming as she's hungry and tired. Meanwhile I'll drag my crying son into the shower room and get him to stand under the jets. 

'Happy?' I'll screech. 'Enjoying your shower?' 

'Yes,' he'll say in a tiny voice. 

It makes me realise how mean I am being. He's only three and all he wanted was a shower - and, in reality, it is not that difficult to let him have one. 

I then feel sick as I look at my forlorn son, water trickling down his little body. 

What a horrible mother I am. 

This wasn't what I imagined parenthood would be like. A constant battle and shouting match, sandwiched between feelings of guilt. 

After one of these episodes, I'll usually cuddle Sam in his towel on my lap, cover him in kisses and say I'm sorry for shouting. But Sam must know as well as I do that these are meaningless apologies because the next bout of shouting will come soon enough. 

After my most recent bathtime altercation with Sam, I recounted the day's events to my husband Matt. These sessions feel like the confessional: 'I've sinned. I shouted again. I'm a terrible mother...' 

Matt usually tries to make me feel better and excuse my behaviour, but we both know the truth. I’m not being as patient with Sam as I should be and it's getting worse by the day. 

The day after my latest chat with Matt, following a broken night's sleep with my baby, the battle engaged again. 

This time Sam wanted strawberries on his Weetabix in accordance with the serving suggestion picture on the box. Such are the whims of a toddler. 

I tried to palm him off with blueberries, but he wasn't having any of it. Instead of calmly ignoring his demands for strawberries or trying to talk him into something else, I launched into him. 

'Just stop this now! If you don't stop screaming you can sit in the lounge!' My face was red, spittle was flying from my lips as I ranted and raved at him. Sam kept shouting and with my rage shooting from zero to boiling point in a matter of seconds, I picked him up and shut him in the lounge. 

Matt remonstrated with me, but I stood firm, loudly proclaiming that I would not let Sam go through life behaving like a baby. But as I calmed down, it suddenly dawned on me that the person really behaving like a spoilt baby was me. 

I should have gently explained to Sam that we didn't have any strawberries and got him to choose something else. 

I find myself shouting at my son several times a day. It can be for anything as Sam, like most three-year-olds, regularly ignores my requests to put his shoes or coat on. 

There really is nothing more exhausting than having to repeat the words 'put your coat on' about 23 times in a row and it's no wonder I eventually lose my temper, as the repeated requests include tidying up, sitting down for lunch, or getting ready for bed. 

'I've had it with you,' I'll often shout in response to Sam's belligerent behaviour. But when the heat of the moment has passed, the words ring in my ears. How can I say such a thing to my darling son, who I love so much? I play the scene over in my head, seeing clearly what I should have done instead, but it's too late. And all of this is put in the shade by the battleground that is Sam's toilet training. 

Sam stopped wearing nappies about seven months ago and is perfectly capable of using a potty or toilet. Of late though, he's been having accidents. Of course I understand the odd mistake, if he's engrossed in TV or playing with his trains for example, but that's not what happens. 

Sam starts to jig about, his hand clutching at his trousers, clearly desperate for a wee. 

'Do you need the toilet, darling?' I begin. 'No,' he responds. 

Two minutes later I ask again. He says no again. The jigging and wiggling gets more desperate. 

I repeatedly ask and the volume of my voice begins to rise. Still he insists he doesn't need to go. When he finally admits he needs the loo, it's too late. 

I've tried to stay calm and even ignore it, but some days he's wetting himself three or four times and my laundry pile is going through the roof. 

'Why don't you go when I ask?' I’ll shout at him, as he wets himself for the fourth time that day. He just looks at me calmly. 

'I didn't make it in time,' he'll say blithely. 

'But I asked you. Why won't you listen?' I'll shout. 

I know I shouldn't yell at him for not making the toilet on time. And, whenever I find myself stuffing his wet trousers and pants into the washing machine, I can't believe I've been so mean to him for having an accident. I even shout at Sam if he falls off his little scooter or slides off a chair. Instead of rushing to him and dusting him down, I just snap at him to get up and stop mucking around. 

The thing is, he's a lovely boy and we have such a great time together when I'm not losing my temper. But those moments are becoming too few and far between. 

I hate how much I shout at him and I know he does, too. I seem to constantly have a knot in my stomach waiting for the next thing to happen and for me to lose control again. 

The worst thing is that I know it is behaviour he will copy. He's already shouting and screaming to make himself heard, which he's clearly learned from me. 

I'm trying to keep my temper in check. We've introduced a marble jar and he's awarded a marble every time he makes it to the loo in time and a sticker chart for being a good boy at bathtime. 

They're just little steps, but they are all ways for me to keep control without losing my temper. 

I still slip up and shout at him, especially when I'm tired or he's being particularly infuriating, but I don't think there's a single parent who can claim to not shout at their child. 

Maybe I should have a sticker every time I get through a day without shouting, although, at the moment, my chart would be entirely empty.

source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2606443/Why-I-stop-shouting-little-boy-This-confession-mother-three-year-old-shock-tweak-consciences.html

another beanie.

wanted to make a beanie for a friend's baby and one for rosanne. was choosing between Lacy Crochet's Lacy Shell hat and Linda Permann's Little Sister hat but could not decide which pattern i liked better, so i did both! hehehe..

in the end, i like the little sister hat better but it turn out too small for rosanne. so i guess i will be giving that one away.

my hat turn out like that:

the finished circumference is about 40 cm and 13 cm in height. 

i used the pattern for child size but i used 4/0 hook instead which was why the hat turn out much smaller. 

going to do one pink one for my little girl with a 5/0 hook and see if there would be a difference. 

i have also borrowed a book on crochet flowers - 200 crochet flowers, embellishments & trims by claire crompton.

tried to make the Chrysanthemum flower but gave up after round 2 was hardly half way done. hahaha.. IT IS TOO CHALLENGING!! i think my yarn is too thin and the flower was turning out pretty small and all my fingers started to cramp.. hahahaha.. maybe i will get a thicker yarn and try it again because the flower really looks pretty. =)

so i did a carnation and a four-layer flower instead. 

this is how the carnation looked on the hat...

... and this is how the four layer flower looked.

which is nicer? 

i think i like the latter better. =)

hahaha.. this is so funny... 

source: https://www.facebook.com/mixdotfm/photos/a.423379181642.208323.339952456642/10152003037876643/?type=1&theater

not the first beanie i crochet.

want to crochet a hat/beanie to go with the dress i previously crochet for the lunar new year. found this beanie is lacy crochet's lacy shell hat which would go perfectly with the dress. =)

***

this beanie measures about 45cm in circumference and 14.5cm in height. 

the yarn i use was patons' big baby 4-ply and the hook i use is japanese crochet hook 4/0 (2.5mm)

V-st in this pattern: (dc, ch 1, dc) all in same space.

Chain 5, join with sl st into ring.


Round 1: Ch 4, *dc in ring, ch 1* 11 times. Join with sl st into 3rd ch of beginning ch-4.

Round 2: Sl st into next ch-1 space, ch 4, dc in same ch-1 space, V-st in each ch-1 space around. Join with sl st into 3rd ch of beginning ch-4.

Round 3: Sl st into next ch-1 space, ch 3, 2 dc in same space, ch 1, *3 dc into next V-st, ch 1* around. Join with sl st into 3rd ch of beginning ch-3.

Round 4: Sl st into next ch-1 space, ch 4, dc in same ch-1 space, V-st in each ch-1 space around. Join with sl st into 3rd ch of beginning ch-4.

Round 5: Repeat round 4.

Round 6: Sl st into next ch-1 space, ch 3, 2 dc in same space, ch 1, *3 dc into next V-st, ch 1* around. Join with sl st into 3rd ch of beginning ch-3.

Round 7: Sl st to 2nd dc of dc-3 group, ch 6, dc in same space, ch 1, *(dc, ch 3, dc) all in 2nd dc of dc-3 group, ch 1* around. Join with sl st into 3rd ch of beginning ch-6.

Round 8: Sl st into next ch space, ch 3, 4 dc in same space, 5 dc in each next ch-3 space around. Join with sl st into 3rd ch of beginning ch-3.

Round 9: Sl st to 3rd dc of dc-5 group, ch 6, dc in same space, ch 1, *(dc, ch 3, dc) all in 3rd dc of dc-5 group, ch 1* around. Join with sl st into 3rd ch of beginning ch-6.

Round 10 to 21: Repeat Round 8 and Round 9.

Round 22: Repeat round 8. Fasten off.