dear m,

i am missing you so much now.

these few days, i have thinking about that date we had in Sydney. photos evidence shows that it happened on a day in july 06.

two days before the date, jk drove me 999km from brissy and we scared the hell of you and your cousin when we knocked on your door late that night. you almost did not want to open the door because you tot we were due the next day. hahaha.

i slept with you that night while jk slept in the study couch. you warm the bed for us like how you always warm my heart. we talked so much that night and i drool on your pillow. hehehe.

the next morning you took us breakfast at manly beach. i spend that day with jk running errands and picking his parents up from the airport. at night he send me back to your place again. we talked till wee morning and I drool again.

the next day was the date.

all i could remember was in the morning your uncle took us out of the house. to where? i cant remember. in the car, your aunt was gently asking baby G why did she cried last night. was she really upset or just throwing a tantrum. at 2/3 years old, baby G replied in full sentence that she was just throwing a tantrum after a thoughtful pause. then your aunt asked if that behaviour was right. she said no. then your aunt asked what must she say now. she apologized for her behaviour with her head hanging low and in a full sentence again. i was amazed. from then, i told myself my kid and i have to be like that but 13 years later, with three kids, i am still far from that - only manage on the part asking my kid, what must you say now.. hahaha.. #asianmums

i remember taking a train with you. before we board the train, you were telling me all the disgusting unhygienic events you witnessed and warned me not to touch anything. when the train finally arrived, you turned back and said, watch me and do what i do. i wanted to laugh but your face was dead serious.

i only remember that we were heading to the city but what we did that day is a blank. with the amount of love you have for me, i am sure we must have visited a kookai that day.

i also remember us waiting for a bus in the late afternoon or evening to go for max brenner near some water (maybe circular quay). why max brenner? because you knew i love chocolates. i remembered that we waited very long at the bus stop. there was a shelf of colourful  smeg/kitchenaid cake mixers in a shop behind the bus stop. i remember telling myself that i would want one in the future. though i am not much a baker, the hubs got me one anyway. :)

did we really took a bus to max brenner? i dont remember because photos shows that we were on a ferry - we passed by the opera house and the bridge. i remember there was sudden strong wind with water (more like a mini hurricane actually) and we ran for our lives towards the cafe. i had my first suckao that day. i forgot why i always have a thing for suckao but now i am reminded - i had my first with you.

how we got home that day, i have no memories of it. maybe your cousin came and pick us up because it was raining so heavily and the wind was so strong.

that day was really special to me - it's our last one on one date.
it's a shame i have so little memories of it.
wishing we could go on one again.


xoxo,
me.

the crescent moon shinny brightly outside my window is now gone.

matthias had just fed and now falling asleep on me. so reliant but soon this moment will be gone too.

my heart full of sadness and regrets so are my eyes with tears now that you are gone too....