my mother has been telling me that my little girl has been sleeping in my bed once too often.. she nags at me about it and says that the little girl will make a habit out of it and will not sleep in her own bed next time..

but the truth is, i can't sleep without her beside me :(

i am used to have her sleeping beside me. her little snores and occasionals dream talks. her smell, mixed of milk and soap. her random waving of arms. small hands landing on my face or shoulders while i sleep. letting her tiny fingers wrap around my index while she sleeps. she being the last thing i see when i go to sleep and her smile when i wake up in the morning. 

she is my Linus' blanket and her breathing sound is my white noise. i feel safe and secured with her right beside me though her crib is just inches away from my bed.

without her beside me at night, i stay awake, waiting for a cry, few tosses or noise of discomfort so that i will have a reason to let her sleep beside me. 

there was once i really could not sleep and so i went to check on her. she had a smile on her face and i was overwhelmed with the fact how fast she was growing. i could not resist giving her a cuddle but could neither resist not putting her back. i fell asleep shortly. she has become my sleeping pill.

she is now turning and tossing in her bed.. can i go pick her up? someone say ok? please??