was accompanying abby in bed earlier and she was making shadow with her hands.
she made a shadow of a butterfly and ask me what it was. I told her I think it's a bird. she laugh and told me it was a butterfly.
she then made the same shadow again and ask me to guess. I quickly said butterfly!
no, mummy.. it's my hands!
Tuesday, April 07, 2020
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
dear m,
i am missing you so much now.
these few days, i have thinking about that date we had in Sydney. photos evidence shows that it happened on a day in july 06.
two days before the date, jk drove me 999km from brissy and we scared the hell of you and your cousin when we knocked on your door late that night. you almost did not want to open the door because you tot we were due the next day. hahaha.
i slept with you that night while jk slept in the study couch. you warm the bed for us like how you always warm my heart. we talked so much that night and i drool on your pillow. hehehe.
the next morning you took us breakfast at manly beach. i spend that day with jk running errands and picking his parents up from the airport. at night he send me back to your place again. we talked till wee morning and I drool again.
the next day was the date.
all i could remember was in the morning your uncle took us out of the house. to where? i cant remember. in the car, your aunt was gently asking baby G why did she cried last night. was she really upset or just throwing a tantrum. at 2/3 years old, baby G replied in full sentence that she was just throwing a tantrum after a thoughtful pause. then your aunt asked if that behaviour was right. she said no. then your aunt asked what must she say now. she apologized for her behaviour with her head hanging low and in a full sentence again. i was amazed. from then, i told myself my kid and i have to be like that but 13 years later, with three kids, i am still far from that - only manage on the part asking my kid, what must you say now.. hahaha.. #asianmums
i remember taking a train with you. before we board the train, you were telling me all the disgusting unhygienic events you witnessed and warned me not to touch anything. when the train finally arrived, you turned back and said, watch me and do what i do. i wanted to laugh but your face was dead serious.
i only remember that we were heading to the city but what we did that day is a blank. with the amount of love you have for me, i am sure we must have visited a kookai that day.
i also remember us waiting for a bus in the late afternoon or evening to go for max brenner near some water (maybe circular quay). why max brenner? because you knew i love chocolates. i remembered that we waited very long at the bus stop. there was a shelf of colourful smeg/kitchenaid cake mixers in a shop behind the bus stop. i remember telling myself that i would want one in the future. though i am not much a baker, the hubs got me one anyway. :)
did we really took a bus to max brenner? i dont remember because photos shows that we were on a ferry - we passed by the opera house and the bridge. i remember there was sudden strong wind with water (more like a mini hurricane actually) and we ran for our lives towards the cafe. i had my first suckao that day. i forgot why i always have a thing for suckao but now i am reminded - i had my first with you.
how we got home that day, i have no memories of it. maybe your cousin came and pick us up because it was raining so heavily and the wind was so strong.
that day was really special to me - it's our last one on one date.
it's a shame i have so little memories of it.
wishing we could go on one again.
xoxo,
me.
i am missing you so much now.
these few days, i have thinking about that date we had in Sydney. photos evidence shows that it happened on a day in july 06.
two days before the date, jk drove me 999km from brissy and we scared the hell of you and your cousin when we knocked on your door late that night. you almost did not want to open the door because you tot we were due the next day. hahaha.
i slept with you that night while jk slept in the study couch. you warm the bed for us like how you always warm my heart. we talked so much that night and i drool on your pillow. hehehe.
the next morning you took us breakfast at manly beach. i spend that day with jk running errands and picking his parents up from the airport. at night he send me back to your place again. we talked till wee morning and I drool again.
the next day was the date.
all i could remember was in the morning your uncle took us out of the house. to where? i cant remember. in the car, your aunt was gently asking baby G why did she cried last night. was she really upset or just throwing a tantrum. at 2/3 years old, baby G replied in full sentence that she was just throwing a tantrum after a thoughtful pause. then your aunt asked if that behaviour was right. she said no. then your aunt asked what must she say now. she apologized for her behaviour with her head hanging low and in a full sentence again. i was amazed. from then, i told myself my kid and i have to be like that but 13 years later, with three kids, i am still far from that - only manage on the part asking my kid, what must you say now.. hahaha.. #asianmums
i remember taking a train with you. before we board the train, you were telling me all the disgusting unhygienic events you witnessed and warned me not to touch anything. when the train finally arrived, you turned back and said, watch me and do what i do. i wanted to laugh but your face was dead serious.
i only remember that we were heading to the city but what we did that day is a blank. with the amount of love you have for me, i am sure we must have visited a kookai that day.
i also remember us waiting for a bus in the late afternoon or evening to go for max brenner near some water (maybe circular quay). why max brenner? because you knew i love chocolates. i remembered that we waited very long at the bus stop. there was a shelf of colourful smeg/kitchenaid cake mixers in a shop behind the bus stop. i remember telling myself that i would want one in the future. though i am not much a baker, the hubs got me one anyway. :)
did we really took a bus to max brenner? i dont remember because photos shows that we were on a ferry - we passed by the opera house and the bridge. i remember there was sudden strong wind with water (more like a mini hurricane actually) and we ran for our lives towards the cafe. i had my first suckao that day. i forgot why i always have a thing for suckao but now i am reminded - i had my first with you.
how we got home that day, i have no memories of it. maybe your cousin came and pick us up because it was raining so heavily and the wind was so strong.
that day was really special to me - it's our last one on one date.
it's a shame i have so little memories of it.
wishing we could go on one again.
xoxo,
me.
Friday, September 06, 2019
Wednesday, August 28, 2019
ten ten.
yay! we made it through 20 days (almost three weeks)!
#11. he is about 52 cm and 3.8 kg now! fitting so much better into his clothes now. he is going to outgrow all my $3 kmart onesies very soon. :(
he has already outgrew this hand-me-down swaddle I liked alot cus he looked like a long bean in it. hahaha.
luckily I have a photo, not very nice one, of him in it for keepsakes. :)
#12. he is also growing some serious neck and arm rolls. his arms are no longer the same thickness as my plams. his fingers are also not that tiny anymore.
#14. dark black hair with a little thickness.
#15. I think he has double eyelids that has yet to come out fully. so far they only appear when he is sleepy.
#16. he is taking about 90-120ml per feed now and has this clustered feeding around 3pm-9pm which he drinks every 1-2hours. other than that he cries for milk every 2.5hours in the day and about 3.5 hours at night.
#17. he can burp very loud. sometimes when he is falling asleep and he is awaken by his own burps. then he will peep and give that who-so-noisy-I-am-sleeping look, roll his eyes and goes back to sleep. #ialsowanttorollmyeyes.
#18. he snores too! less frequently now. sometimes it's so loud he is awake by the sound. lol.
#19. about two days ago, he started to have colic.
T_______________T
暄 has very bad colic and will cry for hours which only her daddy can soothe her. hopefully this little boy's will not be that bad.
#20. his skin is really sensitive! at day 13, his face suddenly had a lots of red angry looking spots which still have not clear yet. and we are still trying to find out the cause.
T_______________T
check out his spots! even he dont look too pleased. lol.
#11. he is about 52 cm and 3.8 kg now! fitting so much better into his clothes now. he is going to outgrow all my $3 kmart onesies very soon. :(
he has already outgrew this hand-me-down swaddle I liked alot cus he looked like a long bean in it. hahaha.
luckily I have a photo, not very nice one, of him in it for keepsakes. :)
#12. he is also growing some serious neck and arm rolls. his arms are no longer the same thickness as my plams. his fingers are also not that tiny anymore.
#14. dark black hair with a little thickness.
#15. I think he has double eyelids that has yet to come out fully. so far they only appear when he is sleepy.
#16. he is taking about 90-120ml per feed now and has this clustered feeding around 3pm-9pm which he drinks every 1-2hours. other than that he cries for milk every 2.5hours in the day and about 3.5 hours at night.
#17. he can burp very loud. sometimes when he is falling asleep and he is awaken by his own burps. then he will peep and give that who-so-noisy-I-am-sleeping look, roll his eyes and goes back to sleep. #ialsowanttorollmyeyes.
#18. he snores too! less frequently now. sometimes it's so loud he is awake by the sound. lol.
#19. about two days ago, he started to have colic.
T_______________T
暄 has very bad colic and will cry for hours which only her daddy can soothe her. hopefully this little boy's will not be that bad.
#20. his skin is really sensitive! at day 13, his face suddenly had a lots of red angry looking spots which still have not clear yet. and we are still trying to find out the cause.
T_______________T
check out his spots! even he dont look too pleased. lol.
Sunday, August 18, 2019
ten.
so it has been 10 days! so far everything has been going smoothly. still waking up every 2-4 hrs to feed but no complaints since he still have jaundice. sleeps well at night as in the day. poops and pees well and no comfort feeding! YAY!
:)
#1. so he arrived at 38 weeks and was 10mins earlier than the scheduled time of 1130.
#2. cried so loud when he came out and wouldn't stop. but when the hubs spoke to him, he recognised his daddy's voice and stopped crying immediately! so the hubs may be telling the truth when he said he talks to my tummy every night when I am sleeping. :)
#3. the smallest of my three babies, weighing only 3.09kg when he was born. when we got discharged at 3 days old, he was only 2.76kg.
:(
but the good news is, at his one week old check, he is back to almost 3kg. his barely 250g weight gain is starting to show as his fingers and arms are not that stick thin anymore and the skin on his knees are no longer just hanging.
#4. he has milia on his nose and I really think he has a nice sharp nose. :)
#5. he also has a mild case of erythema toxicum which is getting better but new spots will still appear every now and then.
#6. he has cute little turf of fuzz on the back of each side of his shoulders. and just two days ago, I realised his whole back is covered will hair! lol.
#furball.
#7. he loves sleeping on his stomach, curling up on our chest. #itsmyfavouritetoo
#8. he burps fairly easily compared to the girls - one burps once a blue moon and the other burps only after hours of patting her on the back and using various pattern.
#9. he smiles when he is contented with his milk or when he sleeps like #7. #nopeitsnotreflexes #andidontcarewhatyousay #itsaSMILE
#10. and he finally has a name - Matthias (文耀)!
Monday, August 05, 2019
3 more days!
have been procrastinating for the longest time ever and thought i better write something since it is only three days left before #楊弟弟 (琳 came out with this) comes. :)
so, baby #3 is due in three days! not really ready since we dont really have a name for him yet. should we name him to reach for stars, be at the top of the peak or just be safe? the moment the sonographer told me that we are going to have a boy, the sound of roaring motorcycles ran through my head and boys in green army uniform appeared. I shuddered at the thought. at that moment, I knew all I wanted is my boy to grow up healthy and safe. that's why I like the name 文安. but it has this 60s feel that I am not sure if my boy would like it as much.
and all the nagging from the dr about c-sec complications is scaring the hell of out me. okie, but I have to clarify. by nagging I mean he mentioned it thrice. he is usually quite chill. so when he mentions something thrice, it really makes me think quite a bit about it. not that there is anything I can do about it though.
point #1 from the above is the one dr has been "nagging" about. hopefully everything will go well since my best friend says that the occurrence is less than 1% but women with repeated cesarean are about four times as likely to have a bladder injury at delivery versus those who did not have a previous cesarean delivery.
T_______________T
baby cot have been setup and left with sheet covers which mummy says will put on on sunday when bb comes home so it will not be dusty.
baby clothes are all washed and smelling nice. have put aside a few for sunday which mummy will pick out one depending on his actual size. last visit to the dr on friday, he measured about 3kg. dr says when he is out, will be probably abt 3.1-3.2kg. which is about 暄's size. I hoped the dr is right because I dont think I can handle any babies smaller than 暄. she was my threshold - so fragile and light earning her the title of 鳳爪.
hospital bag and admission letter packed. oh left the clothes to wear on sunday. what should I wear? actually the question is what can fit me? lol.
***
anyway the favourite questions/remarks for this pregnancy:
- oh it's a boy arh! good arh. you all have been trying for a boy?
- any difference between a boy pregnancy and girl one?
actually we were not planning anything - I was already packing the girls baby clothes and stuff to throw/give away. though secretly I am slightly relived that's bb is a boy. can you imagine three teenage girls under one roof? cat fights, tears and brawl every day? lol. but the worrying part is, I have no idea how to raise a boy. I want him to be confident but not egotistical. I want him to love me but not a mama's boy. I want him to be brave but still be safe. so many wants.
anyway hopefully with a boy, he can help balance out the family dynamics a little. :)
all three pregnancies are quite different. but one of the main differences is the emotions. with the girls, I am like super emo - tears are always brimming. with this boy, i am like so cool. even when the hubs fell and injured himself. I was like, ok. I dont even remember myself being so 冷靜 in these 30 years. hahaha.
for this boy, I must also eat my daily quota of red meats. if I dont eat enough of pork/beef, I will be snacking non stop every other hour till i go sleep. so I must be doing it right since my weight gain so far is only 5kg. :)
***
琳's one was the most pampered one. we went for the most holidays and a babymoon. most supply of bird nest. I was the most 聽話 - no caffeine/alcohol and no raw food. I ate what dr cordelia advised - lots of proteins and fruits. and the hubs was the most attentive. :)
暄's one was the one with the most puke and I ate two oysters.
this pregnancy has been the most physically tired and painful one. you won't want to know what I have been eating either...
was puking throughout my first trimester that I lost almost 6kg.
Braxton Hicks appear even before the second trimester. and now some of the BH are so painful I cant tell if it's the real thing or not.
legs swell up at the end of the first trimester. I feel them wobbling when I walk and I cant fit into my shoes. 暄 has been calling then elephant legs. T_______________T
then came legs cramps at the middle of the night. they were so painful that the next few days my muscles were so sore that it felt like I had ran a half marathon. at its peak, the legs were also cramping during the day. but ever since I took some time off work to rest, my legs are better - no more leg cramps and I can see my ankles and veins!
now are the pain/cramps at the pelvic area. seriously I never had them before.
i was also having insomnia. I will go to bed about 10plus and wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning. so I tried going to bed later but I will still wake up 4. cant go to bed any later because the next day I will be too tired at work.
my heart rate was also quite weird. at rest, it can go up to 120! so I cut away my coffee/tea but it did not really work until recently dr put me on hl for a week.
three more days till all these pain goes away and yummy hospital food!
oh and my favourite aunty Suriati - will be seeing her end of the month!
seriously I cant wait. :)
so, baby #3 is due in three days! not really ready since we dont really have a name for him yet. should we name him to reach for stars, be at the top of the peak or just be safe? the moment the sonographer told me that we are going to have a boy, the sound of roaring motorcycles ran through my head and boys in green army uniform appeared. I shuddered at the thought. at that moment, I knew all I wanted is my boy to grow up healthy and safe. that's why I like the name 文安. but it has this 60s feel that I am not sure if my boy would like it as much.
and all the nagging from the dr about c-sec complications is scaring the hell of out me. okie, but I have to clarify. by nagging I mean he mentioned it thrice. he is usually quite chill. so when he mentions something thrice, it really makes me think quite a bit about it. not that there is anything I can do about it though.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/c-section/expert-answers/c-sections/faq-20058380
point #1 from the above is the one dr has been "nagging" about. hopefully everything will go well since my best friend says that the occurrence is less than 1% but women with repeated cesarean are about four times as likely to have a bladder injury at delivery versus those who did not have a previous cesarean delivery.
T_______________T
baby cot have been setup and left with sheet covers which mummy says will put on on sunday when bb comes home so it will not be dusty.
baby clothes are all washed and smelling nice. have put aside a few for sunday which mummy will pick out one depending on his actual size. last visit to the dr on friday, he measured about 3kg. dr says when he is out, will be probably abt 3.1-3.2kg. which is about 暄's size. I hoped the dr is right because I dont think I can handle any babies smaller than 暄. she was my threshold - so fragile and light earning her the title of 鳳爪.
hospital bag and admission letter packed. oh left the clothes to wear on sunday. what should I wear? actually the question is what can fit me? lol.
***
anyway the favourite questions/remarks for this pregnancy:
- oh it's a boy arh! good arh. you all have been trying for a boy?
- any difference between a boy pregnancy and girl one?
actually we were not planning anything - I was already packing the girls baby clothes and stuff to throw/give away. though secretly I am slightly relived that's bb is a boy. can you imagine three teenage girls under one roof? cat fights, tears and brawl every day? lol. but the worrying part is, I have no idea how to raise a boy. I want him to be confident but not egotistical. I want him to love me but not a mama's boy. I want him to be brave but still be safe. so many wants.
anyway hopefully with a boy, he can help balance out the family dynamics a little. :)
all three pregnancies are quite different. but one of the main differences is the emotions. with the girls, I am like super emo - tears are always brimming. with this boy, i am like so cool. even when the hubs fell and injured himself. I was like, ok. I dont even remember myself being so 冷靜 in these 30 years. hahaha.
for this boy, I must also eat my daily quota of red meats. if I dont eat enough of pork/beef, I will be snacking non stop every other hour till i go sleep. so I must be doing it right since my weight gain so far is only 5kg. :)
***
琳's one was the most pampered one. we went for the most holidays and a babymoon. most supply of bird nest. I was the most 聽話 - no caffeine/alcohol and no raw food. I ate what dr cordelia advised - lots of proteins and fruits. and the hubs was the most attentive. :)
暄's one was the one with the most puke and I ate two oysters.
this pregnancy has been the most physically tired and painful one. you won't want to know what I have been eating either...
was puking throughout my first trimester that I lost almost 6kg.
Braxton Hicks appear even before the second trimester. and now some of the BH are so painful I cant tell if it's the real thing or not.
legs swell up at the end of the first trimester. I feel them wobbling when I walk and I cant fit into my shoes. 暄 has been calling then elephant legs. T_______________T
then came legs cramps at the middle of the night. they were so painful that the next few days my muscles were so sore that it felt like I had ran a half marathon. at its peak, the legs were also cramping during the day. but ever since I took some time off work to rest, my legs are better - no more leg cramps and I can see my ankles and veins!
now are the pain/cramps at the pelvic area. seriously I never had them before.
i was also having insomnia. I will go to bed about 10plus and wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning. so I tried going to bed later but I will still wake up 4. cant go to bed any later because the next day I will be too tired at work.
my heart rate was also quite weird. at rest, it can go up to 120! so I cut away my coffee/tea but it did not really work until recently dr put me on hl for a week.
three more days till all these pain goes away and yummy hospital food!
oh and my favourite aunty Suriati - will be seeing her end of the month!
seriously I cant wait. :)
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